To understand the incident, one must understand the roles these two characters play within the family ecosystem.
The "Beach Incident" forces the family to confront the imbalance in their dynamic. vanessa+marie+the+beach+incident+family+the+work
Doing The Work does not mean Vanessa never speaks to her family again. In fact, it does the opposite. It allows her to approach the family from a place of clarity, not desperation. To understand the incident, one must understand the
After her inquiry, Vanessa can now have a new conversation. She no longer needs them to apologize. She no longer needs them to see her side. She is okay. In fact, it does the opposite
She might say at the next family dinner: “You know, I have been carrying that beach incident like a brick for two years. I did The Work on it. I realize that losing the cooler was terrible timing, but I am not a monster. I forgive myself. And whether you forgive me or not, I am letting the guilt go.”
This disarms the family system. Without Vanessa playing the role of the guilty party, the drama has no fuel. Often, the family will soften. Sometimes, they will get angrier (because they lose their scapegoat). But Vanessa is no longer chained to their reaction.